What a year it’s been. This morning I woke up to watch the sunrise. I spent a glorious hour or so basking in the glow of the morning and marvelling at the beginning of another beautiful day. I ate a leisurely and delicious breakfast and enjoyed two steaming hot cups of tea. Then (and here’s where it gets interesting…) I went back to bed. With my book. And after I had finished reading my book I dozed for a while. When I got up the second time, I almost had to pinch myself. How is it possible that I managed to have such a perfectly indulgent morning? It must be SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!
That’s right. The time of year that gives us teachers the well-deserved chance to rest, recuperate and reflect. To be really honest, I have spent the last four weeks deliberately not thinking about school, deflecting my rogue thoughts if they dared stray to the forbidden topic of the classroom. But now, as I enter the remaining few weeks of our end of year break, I realise that this is a valuable opportunity to reflect on my first year of teaching. There are a few thoughts that immediately spring to mind… so here they come, in no particular order:
- Nothing will ever be as hard or as rewarding as my first year of teaching
- I have made the best possible choice of career for myself, as I consistently feel challenged and fulfilled by my role
- I will miss the little faces that I came to know so well this year in my class. They are moving on to Year 4 and will probably be far too cool to say “hi” to me in the schoolyard…
- Supportive and inspiring teaching colleagues should be treasured!
- I never appreciated holidays as much as I have this year…
There were two opportunities throughout the year when I experienced mini-meltdowns: the first hit me at a friend’s house on the Friday evening of a particularly long week. The tears arrived and I was as surprised as my friends as I found it hard to explain them or make them stop! Thankfully my ever-supportive husband was close at hand to deliver me safely home and listen as I blabbed incoherently as to the pressures and concerns that had been bubbling away below the surface. The second time it happened: I felt myself welling up in class after lunch and feeling very, very fragile. Thankfully the children seemed to pick up on this vibe and were especially lovely and content to enjoy a low-ley afternoon of learning: disaster averted successfully! After talking about these emotional eruptions with fellow teaching friends, I discovered that many of them had experienced similar things during their first years of teaching. The enormity of the pressure we place on ourselves is evident. We are shaping the future and the learning habits of these little individuals that we are teaching. We are meeting parental, school and curricular expectations (hopefully) and maintaining a stimulating, safe and supportive social environment for these little lives. And we are doing it with a smile (mostly). We are spending more time with our class than we are with our families and we are maintaining professionalism and enthusiasm for our tasks. We are in meetings and committees after school and we are marking and lesson-planning at home and on weekends. We are responding to emails and meeting parents to discuss learning… and we LOVE it!
As I bid a teary farewell to my class of 2011-2012, I realise that I now have the opportunity to start over again with a whole new group of students. The individuality of each of them will become evident as the year unfolds and the challenges we face as a class and team will be as individual as the students. It’s a time of excitement and trepidation: but nothing will be as daunting as starting my first year. I already have a “bag of tricks” for setting up a harmonious learning environment. I have taught much of the content that we will tackle this coming year, and I can make improvements on the lessons and resources I created last year. I have a whole year’s worth of confidence and experience and I am ready to begin. Well, in about 3 weeks I will be ready. Until then I will make my eighth cup of tea for the day and settle on the couch with my book or maybe I should get outside and go for a walk… oh, the choices I have to make! Life sure is tough… but at least I now know why teachers deserve their holidays! Reflecting on my teaching year has revealed a lot about my and my choices, and it’s the first of many to come.
